It's still dark outside as Jen tries to get dressed for work.  She has the light on in the closet and the baby on the bed next to her sleeping husband.  She's been up for half an hour and already she's having a shitty morning.  Jaime watches as Jen pulls things off hangers and tries them on only to not be able to button anything.  Pants, skirts-- ( Read more... )

She needed to escape the confines of four walls.  She needed to be vertical and to stretch her legs.  She's still really sick and she just lets her legs carry her without though.  She's wearing too much clothing for the warm island weather--long, knit pants that ripple in the breeze and a wool sweater that she has pulled closed over her middle.   ( Read more... )

I feel like tonight, my mind is made up.  I don't want to be pregnant.  But even in writing that out, I am aware of the tiny life inside me.  I hate this.  How do I make a choice between two options that likely have the same outcome?  How do I decide to terminate before she even gets a chance?  Or how do I choose to continue knowing that every day ( Read more... )

Monday morning.  The first of what could be many OB appointments.  Jen woke up feeling emotionally numb and physically ill.  She spent the early morning hours wandering around the house on autopilot.  Alex watched her every move, but she didn't notice.  They sat in bed together, drinking coffee slowly and silently.  Time has a way of moving forward ( Read more... )

"Director Shepard, a box of cigars arrived for you today."
"Cynthia, I don't smoke."
"I know, Director.  What should I do with them?"
"Don't touch them.  Put me through to Abby."

[note: set for Monday 5/14]

I am amazing.  I am wonderful.  I am strong.  I am beautiful.  I am confident.

...I am still awake.

I am not sick. I am fine. I will grow old. I will see my daughter graduate. I will live a long life. I will not die young. My body is not betraying me.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Pop pop pop.  Rapid succession, round after round ( Read more... )

November

Somehow, she found herself in the desert again.  But at least it's the New Mexico desert instead of the California desert and she's not alone.  And there's not a diner in sight.  Together, she and Jethro had hopped in their rental car and wandered off into the desert to escape the hordes of children that were inundating Stable Graces.  The ( Read more... )

Late afternoon is starting to give way to early evening when Jen emerges from the bedroom.  She's restless, wandering aimlessly through the apartment, putting lights on as she goes.  She remembers yelling at Jethro for leaving all the lights on and he's since been good about turning them off.  But things change.  Or rather, she changed.  Being in ( Read more... )